A glowing rotund haggis was ceremoniously carried in by Ellie Hair, preceded by Piper Cameron Gall who "screw'd the pipes and gart them skirl, till roof and rafters a' did dirl."

Vice President David Johnston waited with razor sharp knife poised to deliver the "Address to the Haggis" and immediately mauled the beastie with style and vigour whilst chanting Burns' ancient words of thanks.

Club members and local place names were cleverely woven into the address to give it a more contemporary appeal.

Rev Douglas Lamb blessed the Burns Banquet with the Selkirk Grace.

The "Immortal Memory " was delivered by Maitland Wilson, local educationalist, who entertained and informed the members with his first "memory" at a Burns Supper.

Burns, voted the Greatest Scot, is universally acclaimed and at times he was a lover and at others a lecher, at times he was a romantic and at others he was a realist, at times he was a nationalist and at times he was an internationalist, at times he was a radical and at others a reactionary. He finally called for a Toast to Burns' legendary compassion and literary genius.

Burns' poetic inspiration often sprung from his deep love of the lasses and Club members Sandra Bartram and Peter Myles traded light insults and humorous observations before proposing toasts to the "The Lasses" and "The Laddies." Both matched Burns in their poetic compositions with Peter's line on dusting being most memorable. – "I wisnae very good at that, I even hoovered up the cat."

Ronnie Gall recited the tale of "The Twa Dogs " which is not the usual choice at a Supper but the members greatly appreciated Ronnie's rendition.

Burns often used animals to make his point about the foibles of human nature and in "The Twa Dogs" he uses a laird's pet named Caesar and a working collie named Luath. Although, from opposite sides of the track, they were good friends and in this poem they discuss their respective masters. As a contrast Ronnie finally recited Ogden Nash's poem "Two Dogs Have I ."

The President thanked all the entertainers for their wonderful contributions and continued the alternative theme by bringing the Burns Celebration to an end by not singing "Auld Lang Syne. "